recent amazements

Bede’s visit with his psychologist was good. My mother was able to come with us and got to meet Dr. Mobley, who(m?) she liked very much. We were late getting there due to getting a bit turned around in Norman, but it was fine since Bede was able to handle about 30 minutes in her office before he became completely unable to control himself. When we left he was trying to remove all the clocks from her walls and scale the Dutch door into the office kitchen. Yeah, time to go!

Diana noticed Bede’s mental flexibility and ability to cope with the unexpected had improved markedly from last year, which is true, and his referencing of me for cues as to what is going on/how to feel. She also thinks that occupational therapy to address his sensory integration problems will help a huge amount, so we will definitely pursue that and see. (Regular readers of this blog will remember that Bede does not wear clothing, well, ever, unless he’s in a public place and actively reminded to remain clad.) She noticed he was toe-walking to avoid the berber carpet in her office, which would make sense in the deep-pressure seeking, light touch avoidant kind of way that Bede is.

She also said she thinks I’d have gotten an Asperger diagnosis as a child had there been one to give me, which didn’t surprise me at all. When I said “Well, sure I had those traits as a kid but now, you know, I’ve outgrown the diagnosis, right?” she actually chuckled and said something like “No, no, I don’t think so.” So I guess I could pursue a formal diagnosis but I don’t see the point. That’s enough for me to know I’m not making it all up, you know? Expect some introspective posts about all this soon…

Good Lord, look at the time! Have to go to bed.

Happy Mother’s Day, all you mothers!

Package Mapping

I just ordered some stuff from Dharma Trading and I was wondering where it was. So I checked the email they sent me when it shipped, logged in to the UPS website and saw it was last seen in San Pablo CA. I wondered where that was, and then had an idea: what if I could track the package on a map?

This being the internet and all, of course someone has already thought of that, and here they are. Yay, internets! The kids ask me all the time where things are on their way to us, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner…

mosquito teen repellent and autistic annoyer

Kristina Chew blogged recently about The Mosquito, a device that emits a high-pitched obnoxious whine that is generally only detectable by people under 25, and is used to deter teens from hanging around a given area. As we age, our ears lose the ability to detect really high sound frequencies, so it doesn’t bother adults with normal hearing. It seems to drive many autistic people up the wall, however, whatever their age, so some businesses are not going to use The Mosquito any longer. (Here’s a BBC article about the device, if you’d like a little background.)

So, my question is, can you hear it? Post yes or no, along with your age if you dare, in the comments.

It’s the pulsing “beep beep beep” noise, not the voices and background noise. I expect nearly everyone who’s not hard of hearing or deaf can hear that.

Bede’s quantum leap

Today Bede volunteered that D is sad. W is happy! on one of our favorite DVDs, They Might Be Giants: Here Come The ABCs. Totally just, you know, telling me stuff, in unscripted standard English. They don’t say that the letters are happy or sad on the DVD, but they obviously are, from their body language.

If you don’t have a minimally verbal autistic child you may not get the import of this. Jennifer, I’m looking at you! It’s been with such happiness mixed with hopeful anticipation that I’ve read your posts on Zane’s language. I’m so pleased to be writing a few of my own!

He’s also been very conversational about other stuff too, from comments on food to little back and forth letter and word improvs between us.

This has been building for a few months and now boom! He’s so awesome!

quite tiring around here

Today was, whew. I woke up to someone yelling downstairs, which had me up like a shot – only to find that they were arguing over a soda straw and a yarn end. I was so not patient with that, especially because there were four other yarn bits and two other straws right there, for God’s sake. Argh!

Then Bede was very upset (read: screaming at the top of his lungs) because one of his favorite websites was down. And then Gilbert, who is working on getting out of diapers, had a huge mess. And all the dipes and wipes were out in the laundry room, which is outside. And it was cold.

It was at that point that I wanted to just go back to bed.

And then, this afternoon, the pipe leading to the main sewer clogged, so every single drain in my house overflowed. Yep. While Sean was gone, and unreachable, for about 5 hours. Yes, the toilet too. And the kids were in the shower, so the bathtub was full, and the sink in the bathroom was full because Sean had shaved in it just a few minutes before, and the kitchen sink full because Faith had used it.

And then?

Then the water from the bathroom, the toilet water, the yucky from a rinsed diaper water, it seeped through the floor and started leaking through the kitchen ceiling.

Right over the cereal and cracker boxes. Yah.

Mr. Rooter was called and all was fixed. My mom came over and a.) watched the kids for 20 min while the plumber fixed it and b.) paid for said plumber because I had no money and Sean was gone. Our landlord will reimburse you Mom, but thanks for being there (like always, but we don’t take you for granted Mom. you’re amazing!)

So, that was that. Guh.

My friend learned today that her unborn son does NOT have a life-threatening urinary valve blockage and associated renal failure. So even though my day really blew hers was one of the best of her life, I’d expect. I’m totally basking in that happiness secondhand, and so, so glad that my biggest problems are poopy cereal boxes and squabbles over yarn ends.

Goodnight all.

No Bede (Gilbert)! At’s Mine! Don’t Touch It! Screeeeeeam!

I had hopes that Trixie’s scream would leave as her language grew, but so far it’s just adding to it. The scream is truly magnificent to hear, like a physical thing. That such a small throat could produce such an incredibly loud noise… wow. I’ve read that howler monkeys can be heard for (goes to look it up) 3 miles. She’s not that loud, I’m sure, but very penetrating, you know? Whew.

Ah, the soundtrack of my life.

the last of the birthdays

Saturday Faith and Bede had their joint birthday party. It was a blast! We had an assortment of friends and family come over for cake. Nothing extravagant. Faith was given Barbies, craft kits and fairy books and Bede was given alphabet books and stickers, car books and several Hot Wheels.

The best moment was when we were singing Happy Birthday and Bede, who was in the living room totally absorbed by his stickers, came in to the dining room where we were singing and sat down in front of his cake and actually tried to blow the candles out when we finished singing. He never ‘got’ birthdays before this, and the singing would either make him scream (he used to REALLY hate when we sang) or he’d ignore it and lunge for the cake. This year he knew what was what.

I’m so thankful for his autism because it makes me notice and appreciate those sorts of little things that parents of nonautistic kids totally take for granted. (Or at least I did, anyway, before Bede came into our lives.) As well as so many things I’d never have noticed at all. WTG Bede!

Faith’s cake was florally encrusted with frosting flowers. Bede’s was 18 cupcakes spelling H A P P Y  5TH  B I R T H D A Y  B E D E. They both loved their cakes. Faith’s was really, really beautiful, and Bede’s was, well, really letter-y.

Then there was Easter, which will get its own post tomorrow with pictures. Now I gotta go to bed!

Raising ’em right

Bede just scored a win.

He climbed up on the dining table, leaned over to the shelves next to it, and nabbed our Firefly box set. He dashed off with it, crowing “Fie-er-fwy! Hmhnn!” and before I could catch up to him (I was holding G-Lo) he had a disc out of the box and ran over to the DVD player.

He selected “Shindig.” One of my faves. The captions are on and he’s reading them all and hopping up and down happily. He seems to like River and Mal the best – kid’s got taste. Tomorrow he’s going to line up exciting new crime, I’m sure.

On that note, I loved the second one of these.

Why I’m blogging, exactly

I don’t know why I blog vs. keeping a private journal. I like to get your comments, I guess. But that also means that I feel like I need to entertain you. And I worry that you’ll be bored by my short “Bede did this” posts.

But at any rate, today Bede played with Cars cars with Faith and me, which he never does.

And now the baby is crying so I can’t elaborate.

blown away

I’m writing this here to remember it.

Gilbert just bumped his head, and came over to me crying. (It’s unclear whether he bumped his own head or was pushed into bumping it by Bede.) Bede got off his computer, squeezed in next to Gilbert – basically draping himself over Gilbert, who had his head in my lap – kissed Gilbert’s cheek and then, as Gilbert stood up, gave him a gentle, loving hug with an affectionate look on his face.

I was verbalizing through this for both boys: “Nice boys! Brothers! Brothers love! A kiss! A hug! Bede loves Gilbert! Gilbert loves Bede!” Gilbert was just as touched by it as I was, and smiled and hugged back as he said “I love you too, Bede.”

I’m just blown away by this. My sweet boys! Snif.

Happy Birthday To Us

My father, father of five, grandfather of eighteen, great-grandfather of two, is 83 years old today. Wow! Way to go Dad!

Beatrice Anna was two, on the 22nd of February.

And tomorrow I shall be 34.

We all got together yesterday, along with many other family members, and had a party! It was Leap Day and seemed like a good time to have one. In years past, we had three generation birthday parties on Leap Day as well, but with a different February representative: my father’s mother, ‘Babe’, was born on February 28th.

Anyway, continuing in the grand tradition, we went to Red Lobster last night. We don’t go out to eat, ever, so it was an even bigger deal. Bede and Trixie were each given a man-to-man defense and the other kids were dealt with on a zone basis. It went well! I can sort of even remember what my food tasted like. And Gilbert and Faith both wanted broccoli instead of french fries, which I found amusing. Maybe because they get more french fries than broccoli at home, and so it seemed a treat? WHo can say.

Bede did very well until the people behind us sang Happy Birthday (to one of their party) and ate cake. He wanted their cake. “Want see cake? Okay, I getchoo CAAAKE!!” After it became apparent to him that he wasn’t going to get their cake, he switched tack to tearfully pleading “Want see let’s-go? Want see backyard?”

We left then, wondering, backyard? Huh?

Turns out he meant the parking lot, which was enclosed by stockade fencing.

Because he’s autistic and you know, they don’t notice details in their surroundings because they’re in their own little world. Yeah. And they can’t communicate  and they’re like “retards or something”.

Yeeeah. That’s it. Oh wait, that’s not it. At all.

baby surprise and other startlements

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Gloria models her Baby Surprise Jacket, made by Trishy.

This photo is from last week, when I went to go get out of jury duty. In Oklahoma you can call in and get excused if you’re over 70. Everyone else, no dice.

So I schlepped myself and G-Lo to the courthouse. (Well, my mom schlepped us actually, so we wouldn’t have to walk from a far parking place. My mom rocks!) Oklahoma has a great law exempting breastfeeding mothers from jury duty at their request, so I wasn’t worried, but still, what a pain. I got out of it but I have to go back in June to tell them, guess what, I’m breastfeeding. Duh. I think next time I’m going with a doctor’s note and WHO guidelines saying breastfeeding should continue through the first two years at minimum. Oh and a copy of the actual LAW because the judge seemingly hadn’t ever heard of it.

Here’s where I won’t let this devolve into a rant about that. ARGH.

a summation

Boy it’s been busy here. Not in the accomplishing big things sort of way, but in the constantly putting out small fires way. Whew.

In the last few days, Trixie turned 2. What an amazing thing that is. She’s so cute. If you haven’t read the story of her very exciting entrance into the world two years ago, please go read it. It’s entirely un-squicky too, no blood, I promise. She’ll be fêted properly on Friday, when she, my father (March 1) and I (March 2) will have a big ol Leap Day Birthdays Party. Whee!

Bede has been Mr. Sensory Seeker for the last week or so, which usually indicates that he’ll be making a huge leap in language, and he did. He correctly filled out some of the ‘tests’ in this book (like this one, only more complex) totally on his own. I had given him the book and said “Here! Fun! Words!” but no directions. He read the directions and filled out the tests, which I only discovered when I looked at it later. Wow.

Faith has been keeping a journal, which she let me read yesterday. I don’t know what I was expecting but it says things like “Today I held Gloria and she smiled at me! With Joy! She is so soft and I love her so much!” I’m still cleaning the spot where I melted right into the floor. Sigh.

Gilbert is marginally less whine-prone, for which we all are grateful. He enjoins us throughout the day to play fairy-tale games with him, mostly Jack and the Beanstalk and The Tortoise and the Hare. Mostly that means running around and pretending to sleep, for either tale. I’m usually the Giant or the Tortoise.

Abby has been on a crafting binge and has been writing how-to books. When she finishes I’ll transcribe them so you can learn from her technique. Topics include making tissue paper flowers, various peanut butter based treats, and sock dolls.

Someone with improper security clearance is in the bathroom. I must fly!

lost and found

OK, two Bede and language posts in a row, but this one’s priceless.

We were playing with the puzzle set Hala gave him for Christmas (his favorite toy) and we couldn’t find a “V”. We had looked pretty thoroughly and I said “Well buddy, it’s nowhere to be found.”

Bede responded with “404 Error File Not Found!”

Me myself and I

So Bede has the typical gestalt language acquisition traits of the autist. He asks for juice or cookies or DVDs by asking us if we’d like them. “Want see apple juice?” and when we say “Do you want some apple juice?” he says “OK! I get you some apple juice!” He says “Bye Bede!” when he says goodbye. Etc.

Today he used I to refer to himself, in a novel phrase: he said, to me as we cuddled, “I’m a cutie!”

I couldn’t have put it better myself.