Category: thoughts

second OB visit

Posted on by Phoebe Gleeson

mande

Today was the second OB visit. She was totally unconcerned that I had declined the early ultrasound. Didn’t bat an eye. I said I had decided against it since it was for dating purposes only and I had good dates anyway. She was all, “Oh, yeah, that’s totally fine, no problem. Still on for the 20 week scan though, right?” To which I concurred. She’s very chill.

But guys, guys! Why didn’t anyone tell me hospital births were so expensive?!? (Ok you probably told me.) Our insurance covers 80% and we are still looking at like $1500 out of pocket. Holy cow. And that’s an uncomplicated vaginal delivery. That’s like, the minimum. And doesn’t cover labs or ultrasounds. I’m not sure about making it to the next visit, let alone the 20 week scan. That’s an awful lot of money for a contingency plan. But then, it can be pretty scary to give birth in a hospital with no documented prenatal care, which is how homebirth transfers are seen here. I did it once (Gloria) and we lucked out. We got to the hospital, she was born less than a minute after I got to triage and then we left before it could go pear-shaped. I hear horror stories about parents getting tangled up with social services for refusal to submit to hospital procedure.

I don’t know. I’ll sit on it for a while.

But the baby’s heart beat was audible, yay! Pew pew pew. He was 146 bpm. Still kinda getting used to that “he” stuff. I may have bought a few tiny things for him already…

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Posted on by Phoebe Gleeson

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A prayer for safety from storms. Jesus Christ the King of Glory has come in Peace. † God became man, † and the Word was made flesh. † Christ was born of a Virgin. † Christ suffered. † Christ was crucified. † Christ died. † Christ rose from the dead. † Christ ascended into Heaven. † Christ conquers. † Christ reigns. † Christ orders. † May Christ protect us from all storms and lightning † Christ went through their midst in Peace, † and the Word was made Flesh. † Christ is with us with Mary. † Flee you enemy spirits because the Lion of the Generation of Judah, the Root of David, has won. † Holy God! † Holy Powerful God! † Holy Immortal God! † Have mercy on us. Amen!
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ultrasound update, sorta

Posted on by Phoebe Gleeson

L0038225 Stages in pregnancy as represented by the growth of the womb Credit: Wellcome Library, London. Wellcome Images images@wellcome.ac.uk http://wellcomeimages.org Stages in pregnancy as represented by the growth of the womb from normal state through to 3, 6 and 9 months. (Side view) 19th Century Nouvelles démonstrations d'accouchemens. Avec des planches en taille-donee, accompagnées d'un texte raisonné, propre à en faciliter l'explication Jacques-Pierre Maygrier Published: 1822 Copyrighted work available under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

I never called the doctor. Coward’s way out!

I did call the ultrasound lab to tell them I wasn’t going to get one. They had called and asked me to schedule it, and I thought that was the courteous thing to do.

I’ll see the doctor in about two weeks and I’ll discuss it with her then. I loathe the phone for conversations of note. My cell signal is not great, and I feel like I miss the nuances of communication so much when it’s not face to face. It’s a last resort for me. I bet it won’t be a big deal at all, that she’ll just be all “Oh, sure, that’s fine. Still on for the anatomy scan at 20 weeks, though, right?”

Which is cool.

(Wellcome Library, London. Copyrighted work available under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

It’s a…

Posted on by Phoebe Gleeson

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BOY!

I called the OB today and asked if my Harmony test results were in. The office manager/clerical person, a sweet and slightly breathless woman named Jessica, answered the phone.

“Oh! Sure! Um let me see if those are here… No, I’m so sorry they aren’t on your chart. But I can totally go ask the nurse if they like faxed them over and they just aren’t in the system yet!”

“That would be great, Jessica! Thank you so much!”

“Oh, um, okay! So, um, I’ll call you or have the nurse call you back.”

We hung up, and I waited. I didn’t have high hopes that I would get a callback soon, it being Friday and all. But I was wrong!

“Hello?”

“Um, hi this is Jessica from Dr. OB’s office! I checked with the nurse and your results were there! Do you want to hear them?”

“YES! Yes please!”

“Oh my gosh this is so exciting! OK, um, well the sex is… You want to know the sex, right?”

“Yes!”

“The sex is male.”

“Wh – wh – did you say male? It’s a boy!?!”

“Yes, a little boy!”

“Oh wow! We have eight kids and we have’t had a boy in 11 years! Oh that’s just GREAT!”

“Oh my gosh really? I am so so excited for you! And the other results all have normal numbers, no trisomy.”

“Oh good! I bet you just love making these calls, huh?”

“Um, well, actually this is the first time for me! But yes!”

And there you have it. I could barely contain myself but managed to keep the secret. I wrote it down on the paper above and sealed it up for Sean to open and announce to the kids. They were all THRILLED. They would have been happy for another sister, of course, but a little brother is just a delight after all this time.

Yay, babies!

 

autism and language

Posted on by Phoebe Gleeson

A close up of the word language from a dictionary

Clementine has a funny way with language. She has said quite a few words, probably 10, then never used them again after a few days. It was one of the ways I knew she was probably autistic, although neither of the other autistic kids did that.

Faith, the oldest to be diagnosed and most likely to pass as neurotypical, spoke early and often. She was ahead of the curve and used language very well. She was unable to function typically in social settings unless the other children were odd-kid-friendly, but we didn’t really notice that until she was about 12. With one exception. She had no idea how to initiate conversation, but could usually carry her end as long as the other kid was outgoing and kind. Once, when she was in a bounce house at about age seven or so, she tried initiating a conversation with another girl by going into an elaborate, scripted play she often played with Abby. The other child looked concerned, and walked (bounced) away. Faith followed, and just kept saying the same thing. That was our first inkling that she was not your average bear, wiring-wise. But language acquisition was normal to advanced.*

Bede, on the other hand, spoke nary a word until he was almost two, and that was to read aloud. We were thrilled he was reading (and he was really reading, we tested him with just about any one, two or three syllable word) but really wished he would actually communicate and use his language functionally. His first functional word was “cracker!” and was followed the next week by “Pop-Tart!” He was three. Words trickled in and speech trickled out over years and years, and now he has something approaching normal use of language. Approaching – probably 80% normal. But the 20% that’s weird is really weird. Also, his prosody and tone is way, way off and it’s obvious in about three or four words that he is autistic.

But back to Clementine. She is two. She has said ball, block, milk, cheese-it, apple, banana, meow, eggs, shoes, cheese. Of those, we have kept apple. The others all left. Some have come back: cheese, ball. The only one she uses to ask for something is cheese. Now, that’s not to say she lacks language, just none of it is used to communicate or share experiences. She knows all the letters – upper and lower case – and all the numerals as well as 10. Are those words? Sure! And we love saying them with her, and she sometimes seems to delight in our doing so. But they don’t do anything in her environment; they don’t make things happen. I think if we keep saying them when she does, and playing with them (sometimes jokingly getting them wrong, speaking in a silly voice, speaking slowly or quickly, etc) she’ll learn a lot about how communication works in an indirect way. At the same time of course we will still be modeling pragmatic, functional speech. As she drags us to the refrigerator, “Oh, you want some milk? Milk? I’ll get you some milk! Here is milk.” As we are leaving the house, “Here are shoes! Shoes on feet! Let’s go!” And so on. She’ll see that the labels work to share ideas.

Then it’s off to the races!

*Faith read this and approved publication.