a complaint list

Not the best day here.

The teething baby – first tooth on Sunday – is unhappy, for the last four or five days. My not-quite five year old, Gloria, is in a very fragile way, emotionally. She’s difficult to understand when she’s upset, she mumbles, and she’s upset A LOT. She is also at odds with Trixie the not-quite seven year old, who can be very difficult to get along with.

Gilbert is at an impasse in math, trying to get multiplication, and I am impatient with him. As he gets less and less sure of his answers they get more and more tentative and I get more and more irritable. I stopped today before I got mad, but biting it back made me mad internally for an hour or so.

Abby is s-l-o-o-o-w at school today. She has been doing a twenty minute history assignment for about two hours. I have an appointment for an assessment for her soon. I am certain she will fit the diagnostic criteria for SCT. What will that mean for her and us? She’s my daydreamer, my girl on her own planet. I want her to be able to play to her strengths and compensate for her deficits, and a clear course of action will help her with that.

I have to pack for the move, which is okay, but the baby won’t let me. I’m a little out of sorts about that. My house is a mess and it’s not getting cleaner.

Yesterday, I was on the phone with my friend Tabitha in California and I said “…my brother Jonathan was at my parents’ house this weekend and…” and I realized I no longer need to specify which brother is doing something because now both of my other brothers died.

I fucking hate cancer.

I think that’s all.

3 thoughts on “a complaint list

  1. Hug. I hate cancer too. It is a high tide, super stressful time for you right now but the tide will go out. Things will calm, kids will kiss and make up, fears will diminish. Big deep breaths. <3

  2. Well what a stressful day! I am sure you will get through Multiplication if you want call, we can talk ideas pick my brain and see if I have any ideas you don't know about! Cancer sucks, packing sucks and teething sucks as well as feeling out the new territory with learning differences! Hope tomorrow is smoother!

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